Carnal Pleasures

(first of all, i wrote this years ago… i’m now married…)

In this day and age. Filipinos are fastly catching up with the western views on sexual matters.

Yep, the likes of Manoling Morato and other church bound moralists (prudes who desperately needs to get laid) are slowly being eaten up by a more liberal generation whose views on sexual intercourse, sexuality and its orientations my give the Pope and Charo Santos an instant heart failure and anneurism combo.

Yep, our generation has been doing it and getting it more than any other previous generations before us. We have been getting laid having sex with each other silly. Levels of kinkiness on sexual acts is way off the charts.

Well can anyone really blame us?

It’s “CALIFORNICATION” all over! Everywhere you go, every direction you lay your eyes on, sex hits us right in our grinning faces. They sell sex everywhere. And I mean every and anywhere.

Television made it a normal thing. Its now ok to see half naked babes dancing and jugging thier racks off like a strip dancer on a national scale and in LUNCHTIME no less. They sell sex on giant billdoards along our national roads where sizzling sexual creatures with little or more skin (does it really matter?) whose poses are way too suggestive.

And the internet. Whew, won’t even dare to elaborate more.

And all of these we gladly accept with chinky smiling eyes and sheepish grins.

Not that it’s bad. It’s good. Way too Good (pakyu Bruhaha! you know who you are I am not a perv!)

So, with that, this page will regularly feature in one long thread all my incites, suggestions and anything else that falls under and pertains about S E X.

When I say SEX, it doesn’t necessarily means doing it with somebody. It also means Sexiness, Sexuality, Sex Education (yeba!) and the likes.

Don’t worry guys, this ain’t no porn blog thingy. I’m gonna try to make this page/thread as decent as possible.

And NO Jake… I will not post explicitly erotic stories. You have to buy it from me man… hehehehe.

If you find it interesting, please do drop again for this page will be updated as often as I can.

First Entry July 14, 2007 Saturday

FUBU Etiquettes 101

For all prudes and 21st century slang challenged idiots, FUBU is not the african american apparel that’s sprung from the hip hop culture. This ain’t the neon bright colored shirts that pinoy ghetto jologs wear.

FUBU stands for two words describing mutual friends who you can have intimate pleasures with and asks for no commitment in return. Friends who are wiiling sexmates with no strings attached.

FUCK. enough of this soft approach shit… for those morally boxed idiots and sexually deprived and alienated muthabitches, close your fucking eyes and skip this page… or continue reading this and perhaps learn something.

FUBU’s are fuck buddies. Friends and/or acquaintances that you have open and pretty liberal sex acts with. Sex with no monetary exchanges. Sex with nothing in mind but having fun in bed. No responsibilities except safety while being pleasured and giving pleasure.

Just plain and pure unadulterated sex with no hassles brought by a declaration of commital from both sides.

Being in this kind of relationship is quite pleasurable and a stress reliever if handled right with clear and well defined communication between the parties. FUBU’s like any other forms and levels of relationships have rules. Here are the basics of it….

FUBU rule no. 1 – Be sure that both parties are single. If either one gets hitched or attached, cease the sex but continue the friendship. If you don’t end it, then it’s no longer a FUBU thing. Your already having an affair. You cheating decieving bastard!

FUBU rule no. 2 - Talk about limitations. Limitations in bed and outside it.

In Bed – When it comes to sex, have an open and clear talk about the do’s and dont’s. Every detail must be defined as to enjoy a more pleasurable experience. LIke having toys, taking a video while doing it, role playing and other possibly kinky stuffs.

Off the Bed – discuss things like how to act when together with other friends. Should you guys be sweet and let other pals know that theres something happening or remain in secrecy and have your sheet adventures kept private. These will prevent awkwardness. In life, communication is the key, so talk and have more fun.

FUBU rule no. 3 – Observe proper hygiene and safety precautions. For god’s sake be safe and take necessary precautions and hygiene. Shave excess hairs, take longer scrubbing minutes in the shower and clean your teeth (use mouthwash please) so you are orally inviting. Use condoms and contraceptives. Your are in these together for the pleasure of it. Don’t ruin everything with undesirables brought by stupidity and carelessness. STD’s and unwanted pregnancy are not what you guys want.

FUBU rule no. 4 – Talk about financial issues. Discuss things like should you share motel payments or have an alternate thing on whose gonna dish out money. The girls may think that the guys should only bear the payments, probably so, but guys… Both of you feel the same pleasure. Be fair. Hey you girls have been screaming gender equality rigths for decades, right?

FUBU rule no. 5 – Do not force you FUBU too meet up and do it. They are not your sex slaves. Dont just pop up anytime you feel like it. They do not owe you anything. Dont text like your a bf or gf. For the love of god, you just fuck each other, that’s it! Dont expect anything more. If once decides to stop the FUBU connection, no more talks, end it at once. Have some decency. Dont beg.

If you can have regular schedules set. Talk about clearly defined schedules to avoid stressful situations like being rushed or having too little time to have sex. Talk, talk and talk about things like these.

FUBU rule no. 6 – There is no room for jealousy. You have not right to be envious If your fubu has other fubu’s other than yourself. Its hard I know. Look for other fubu’s to even it out. If you do become jealous, you are clearly looking for a serious relationship. Talk and decide if both of you want to take it to the next level. If no, then cease the fucking, retain the friendship.

FUBU rule. 7 – Dont fucking kiss and tell. Guys grow up will ya’! Friends are friends even if you fuck the hell out of each other.

FUBU rule. 8 – Do not in any case say the two phrases of doom after having sex. These two are “I LOVE YOU” and “THANK YOU”. For the love of god! Avoid this for embarassment and a possible verbal tussle.

Follow the basic rules and both of you will experience unprecedented heights of pleasure and create a bond that may last until your both senile.

At this age and time the saying ….

“sex is the surest way to ruin a great friendship”

… no longer apply!

Communicate and communicate, I cannot stress it out more than I already did.

So there you go. Go fuck yourselves crazy…. and have fun doing it.

(end of first entry)

Second Entry July 17, 2007

Pinoy Urbanites Guide to Casual Sex

Part 1 Where To Hook Up

Technology and Pop Culture killed romance.

Gone are the days where guys ask girls on dates with the normal routines of going for a couple bottle of beers or a tall frappes, eating at a decent resto for dinner, watching a movie or having wholesome fun at an arcade… hoping to got to first base at the least.

Splurging on dates to get laid is so 90′s. (Yep girls… guys dole out on dates to get on your pants no matter who they are, ever if its your best guy pal!)

HBO and the internet and other communication accessibility gadgets makes it easier to meet up, and if both parties like what they see hook up to get “no catch booty calls!”.

I’m not only talking about guys. Girls, admit it!!! Us boys are not the only one doing the kiss and tell thingy about last night’s sheet actions.

Overheard a lot of girlie to girlie talks on coffee shops and even PUV FX’s talking about “I hope he calls me late at night” or “what’s the point of him asking my number if he’s not gonna ask me out”.

YEP. You girls get horny and wanna get laid too. (Shut UP Angel!)

But Pinoys are taking it a bit slow regarding casual fucking. Although one night stands with strangers does happen, the stats on that is slim even if your a Piolo Pascual clone (much less so i think, having his gender questioned… really picked a bad example to make my point)

Pinays still have small amounts of Maria Clara-esque DNA running in the blood streams. Well those who dont are complete sluts, a rarity except of course in BURGOS, Makati.

So what’s the key to end up having casual sex adventures?

* A major list of Friends number on you phone book. Yep networking helps! it easier to hook up with someone if theirs a common friend between you and your prospect.

*Decent amount of Alcohol!!! Its the ultimate ice breaker, Inhibitions go down and and sexual tensions go up!

*The right place… LOCATION LOCATION LOCATION!

lets talk about the LOCATION first.

Part 1 Where To Hook Up (will be continued soon)